Mix It Up L.A.

The secret to creating and keeping love Posted on May 5, 2011 by Kim Lockhart Last week's article 3 Huge Reasons I'd Rather Be With My Working-Class Boyfriend Than a Rich Guy rang true so often that I wish I could paint splashy yellow YES! stars all over it. But today I’m focused on just one point; the key to making love last. In my opinion, our advertising dominated, fairytale-telling modern society has gotten everyone completely confused about what makes romance happen. Should I buy something? Go somewhere? Be something different? The contradictory messages are endless. And as the first generation that has grown up deeply influenced by TV and film stereotypes, it’s no wonder that we fear the worst possible outcome. We see it played out regularly in reality TV shows, movies, music, everywhere, because fear makes us buy things. However, there is one free thing that always leads to love. It’s present in every single successful relationship, guaranteed. Ready to know what it is? FUN. Being fun, having fun and making life more fun for others. Sounds so simple, I know. But if you think about where your attention lies when you go out on a date, or how you behave when you meet a stranger in line, is being fun at the top of your agenda? Probably not. If you’re a normal person, concern number #1 is looking good, not embarrassing yourself, not getting stuck talking to the wrong person, not being bored, doing the right thing, etc. Unfortunately all of those fears put the focus on you. And when we’re focused on ourselves, our natural flirty qualities (spontaneity, wit, sass, smarts, bravado and cleverness) evaporate. Being fun naturally leads to love. And it’s the only thing that keeps it going long term. So make yourself into a magnet for your future mate. Decide that you are going to enjoy yourself everywhere that you go. Make fun your job, damn it. Love, Kim		The big debate: Is love supposed to be easy? Or hard? There’s a ton of conflicting opinion about what love is “supposed” to be. Lots of people say marriage is hard work, so expect that it’s going to require serious effort. Others say “When it’s the right person, it’s simple.” So putting in too much effort should be a red flag... Click here to read more When to use Facebook, when to text, and when to call My friend’s brother asked about a tricky situation. He was at a fundraiser, and met a girl through a mutual acquaintance. There was definite chemistry… Click here to read more Are some people “hopeless at love?” Yesterday a friend asked me if I thought that some people are “just hopeless at love” and destined never to get married… Click here to read more It Only Takes 5 Minutes As a matchmaker, I spend a lot of time noticing people and wondering about who they are. But it’s rare that I see a stranger and think… Click here to read more Why You Should Date Short Men As a smart, capable woman, if the only thing that you wanted in a relationship was physical safety, then a tall man would be the only choice. Click here to read more What to know when you go out socially to meet men What holds us back is that we don’t realize how appreciative men are of the many, many attractive things about women. Thinking of our beauty from their point of view will… Click here to read more 5 Ways to Eliminate Small Talk If you dread the idea of a boring first date, here are 5 ways to make it, at the very least, a pleasant use of your time. Click here to read more Why Long Distance Should be Kept at a Distance Hi. My name is Amy and I am a pathological long-distance dater. Well, I used to be... Click here to read more